I Use Sex as a Reward for Good Behaviour

A recent survey on couples in the UK suggested that as many as two thirds of women use sex to reward their partners for good behavior and doing chores such as housework.

Yet, guys always seem to be moaning that they can’t get freaky with their girlfriends. Well I’ve got news for you guys, you are doing something wrong!

For some reason, a lot of guys just don’t get women. But we really aren’t that complicated. It is as simple as this: if you want to get laid, we want something in return.

Okay I know this sounds like prostitution … and I guess it sort of is, but it’s not like we expect money on our bedside tables or big fat diamonds, we just want a bit of consideration. That really is all you need to do to get laid.

So forget the Kama Sutra and follow my guide to make sure you are getting it on the reg.

Take your girl on a romantic date

Nothing gets a girl in the mood like dinner and cocktails in a fancy restaurant. No talking about the lads or farts, you need to woo your woman and she will reward you with a passionate night in the sack for showing how considerate and caring you are.

Have a wash

That means clothes, hair and body. Girls don’t like smelly boys – that’s why Lynx was invented. Whatever scientific studies say about sweat being a turn on, BO gets a girl out your bed quicker than you can say premature ejaculation.

Do the washing up!

If she slaves away all afternoon in the kitchen knocking up dinner for you (even if it is only spag bol) you better do the washing up. If you do your fair share, it shows her how generous and appreciative you are of her cooking.

Get the girl flowers

For some reason, men think that us ladies only want flowers with an apology. That is not the case. We want flowers whenever. Nothing says romance and a wonderful boyfriend more than a big bunch of roses. You will soon find your sex life blossoming…

Buy her chocolate

It goes without saying that chocolate is a girl’s best friend. Especially during this horrific time of exams, treating your girlfriend to a bar of galaxy will help her forget the revision blues and she’ll pounce on top of you.

Watch chick flicks with her

Let her cry on your shoulder during the Notebook and tell her you will read her the story of your romance when she is too old and senile to remember.

Buy her Jägerbombs in Crisis

If all else fails, get her drunk, and she will forget about that time when you picked football with the lads over date night with her.

So, if you’re lacking luck in the bedroom department, follow my handy guide and you will be getting it in left right and centre, morning noon and night. Remember boys, you scratch our backs and we’ll scratch yours… meowwwww!